HOW I RECOVERED
I will never forget the first time I was asked the question “How did you recover?”. I was at Gabrielle Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Master Class in NYC. I sat beside a woman from the UK and we decided to grab lunch together on our break. As we walked the streets of NYC we told each other a little more about what we did and at the time I wasn’t a coach and still worked my corporate job in Toronto but I knew at some point I wanted to use my experience to help others. I told her I had overcome a long struggle with an Eating Disorder. She was a nutritionist and said she worked with countless people that she felt had “disordered” eating patterns and so was very curious about how I got better.
She then asked “So, how did you finally recover?”
I was taken aback. I’d never been asked that before nor I had I even given it much thought. I began to quickly rhyme off a laundry list of things…types of therapy, teachers, yoga, meditation, healing modalities etc.
When we returned after lunch I sat in my chair and as I often do critiqued every word that had come out of my mouth. Thinking to myself what a stupid way to answer her question. I sat there uneasy about everything I had said. It was true…so many different things had contributed to my healing. It really was a hard question to answer simply, but then I heard a voice, loud and clear say….you recovered by learning to sit through the pain.
That was it. That’s recovery in a nutshell. Sure we have a lot of work to do and things to understand first. I believe in order for true healing to happen we have to get to the root about WHY we do the things we do. To heal childhood wounds, gain a deeper understanding of how we use food. To feel our feelings and be at home in our physical body, to learn how to properly nourish it, to accept it and appreciate it for all it does for us daily. To know what parts of us need soothing and to learn healthy ways to soothe those parts of our heart. But at the end of the day…stopping yourself from bingeing, requires you to cultivate one crucial skill; the ability to sit with discomfort.
All of our ‘harmful habits’ (whether they deal with food or not) are rooted in a lack of self-love and inability to FEEL our feelings. To be fearless to me, means to have the courage to sit with my feelings. To look them straight in the face, to not numb, distract, avoid or dismiss. It takes so much strength and courage to sit with ourselves when it hurts, but our hearts are desperately needing this attention from us. Give yourself the love you’re denying yourself…sit with your pain, sit through the discomfort, sit through the anxiety, the frustration and the fear – you will make it through the other side.
Our feelings cannot hurt us, but our refusal to feel them will. Have the courage to sit with your heart….this is how we begin to heal.
Sit with your pain. On the other side lies your freedom.
I know you may be thinking…easier said than done Molly. I know. I know it sounds so simple and yet is the hardest thing we are asked to do. Meditation is how I learned to do this. I had to learn to sit with myself. To find stillness. To breath.
CLICK HERE for my Free Meditation Guide (I use the tips provided in this PDF daily)
