THE BEGINNING OF A NEW CHAPTER

The month of May picked me up, spun me around and dropped me in an entirely new setting, and I’m still making sense of where I am.I hate using the word ‘processing’ because it’s so vague but its the only word that sums up how I feel; like my insides are a Tetris game and things are shifting. Trying to make space for new parts, putting aside old ones…trying to lay a foundation upon which something new can be built.
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Although it’s been a week since I landed in Amsterdam, it took a week to ‘process’ my last week at home (and catch up on sleep). That last week I was a mess. I wasn’t expecting to be as fearful and anxious as I was. I cried every day having waves of fear and doubt come over me that I’d never felt before and although I’d made moves like this in the past...this was different.
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It’s hard to leave a place you love yet at the same time thats the best way to leave things; in full appreciation of them, but it was a comfort zone and I once had someone say to me “nothing good comes from our comfort zones” and I agree. It’s scary to push past them, to step into the unknown - but its in that space where new things are made, and where (I like to think) the magic happens.
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So for now, I get comfortable in the uncertainty, and hold on to the saying I have always held on to… “hold the vision, trust the process”.