HOW A STEP BACKWARDS CAN MOVE US FORWARD

 “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity”  - Seneca 

Do you ever wonder what makes you remember a specific memory from childhood or adolescence and not others? I have a lot of these moments that are etched in my brain/heart, seemingly insignificant moments, mundane moments that for some reason, remain vivid in my mind, and this is the case with a quote a teacher once said to me:

“There’s no such thing as luck…luck is only preparation meeting opportunity”. 

It struck me and I thought, is that really true? Are the “lucky ones” just those that work behind the scenes when suddenly opportunity knocks and BOOM they get lucky? or are we in the right place at the right time? There are so many factors at play here and I could go on about this topic, but for the sake of this story,  now you know how I heard this quote, and this is the thought that popped into my head as I sat on a boat in Milos, Greece.

Of all the things I did and places I saw over the last 10 months, this particular day was really something special. This was one of those dream days. I remember trying to be as present as possible, to take in every little detail and I kept hearing myself say over and over and over again…. “Molly, you are so lucky!!!” and that’s when this quote popped in and I realized, yes I was, but I also did a lot to get here.

I always wanted to move to Europe and I decided at 34 to move back in with my parents so I could start saving for it. I had to swallow a big ol’ slice of humble pie, giving up a beautiful apartment in downtown Toronto to live in the country with my parents. I wondered what people would think and how it would look. I got up at 5 am to catch (more than) a 2 hour long train into our Toronto office. Then covid hit. I lost my job, and here I was now 35, unemployed and living with my parents. I felt like a loser. But I took this opportunity to do everything I could to prepare myself for this potential move. I tried to figure out a way to make money online so that when I did eventually move, I had a way to sustain myself. 

I passed on offers to go back into the corporate world which would have been a nice boost for my ego, but I had a  bigger vision in mind. I also chose not to move to Europe when travel eventually opened up even though that was my initial plan. I kept telling people I was moving and I’m sure I sounded like the boy that cried wolf, but I knew I had to be patient and the right timing would come.  I remember my 36th birthday, sitting in my room at my parent’s house, making next to nothing with my business and looking around thinking - this is not what I want my life to look like, but again, I knew… I just had to be patient.

To the outside world (and honestly,  to myself)  it looked like I‘d taken a giant step backward. However,  I knew deep down, I was doing what I needed to do, in order to make this move. Sure my life didn’t look great but I was OK with that. I knew I was building towards something else.  “Hold the vision trust the process”  is what I always said. It also just happened to be the quote I hung on to for dear life when I moved to Australia, and is a quote I keep in my room (see picture below…the result of one of those arts and crafts nights my aunt hosted). This saying really is my anchor in life.

And, now, here in Florence I’m feeling this way again. Living in what was a former hostel, with 2 roommates. I swore I’d never live with roommates again, but this is what I needed to do in order to stay. This was my “step backwards” in order to keep moving forward. It’s swallowing my pride again, but it also made me realize another reason why these moves are so powerful. They fill us with a deeper motivation for change.

When we wake up each day and know in our hearts, this isn’t the life we know we’re capable of, it can often be the fuel needed to get to work. It becomes this time to re-focus, to sharpen our tools and deepen our trust in ourselves and our path (regardless of what the outside world says our life should look like). These “pauses” are a time of preparation. We ready ourselves for what’s next, knowing that wherever we are, it is never permanent. There is a quote in A Course in Miracles that speaks to this: ”Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety”.

If you feel like you’re in a situation where you are stuck, drifting backward, or not seeing any forward motion…relax, it's okay. You’re still on the right path. Trust your timing, dig down deep and hold on to your vision. Be patient, for the opportunity will eventually arrive. And when that time comes you’ll know deep down, it wasn’t just luck, but that you helped make it happen. You sacraficed what is often instant gratification for something that meant more to you and this sense of gratitude for your past self delivers a type of satisfaction only you yourself can earn.

For you brought yourself to that moment and you have yourself to thank. And when you do it once…you’ll be less scared to do it again.

Never be afraid to take those steps backward, it’s from there that you’ll leap even further ahead.